Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Still Waiting

I called the WL Clinic today. I am 3 weeks into waiting for the 6-8 week insurance approval of the 6 month pre-op plan. They called me back very quickly to say.... keep waiting. I am SO SO impatient. I am excited for Chris' surgery coming up :o) You'd think it was me getting banded in a few days and not her, lol. 
That is pretty much it on the banded (not) front. I am finally starting to get rid of this horrible cough that I have had for the past two weeks. I feel so bad for my coworkers hearing me coughing in my little cubicle. I am tucked away in a corner so I am able to keep the germs to myself for the most part, but I know a few of them probably got the heebee geebees from listening to me.... I would have. I swear it is baby germs. I never got sick so often before motherhood. I was very lucky to be able to stay home with her for ten months before going to work. In all that time she had no colds, ear infections or anything. Then I start working again and almost immediately she gets somebody's cooties and gives them to her mommy.
I have started to tell more people about getting banded. 90% seem to be very supportive. There are a few sipping on the hater-ade, but they may just be genuinely concerned. One person in particular wanted me to promise her that I wouldnt do it and said that it was the easy way out. This person is very near my size and had lost 50 pounds about 5 years ago doing atkins. She looked great, gained it back and still looks great but has poor, poor,POOR eating habits. She will even go to a place like the Fire M0untain and stay there for 3 hours eating until she is stuffed... sit and talk and eat and until stuffed again before leaving. It made me embarassed to go out to eat with her. I am sorry for being so judgy. She mentioned me losing weight for my wedding and said that I should just do it (WW) again. I told her that I was so tired of the try try and try again approach. I need something that will help me stick with it. I hope that after I am banded she will appreciate the effort I plan to put into working the band and stop thinking of it so negatively.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Just some pics of my baby girl

I am doing my first post using my iPhone. It's only be pics of my daughter Charli because I think she is the cutest. Please enjoy all this sweet baby goodness 😍
Me and Charli (6 months) at the 4th of July fireworks on the Susquehanna river
Charli at 6 months
Charli at 12 months.... She will not give up that dang wub a nub.
Charli at 14 months
Charli at 9 months....This cute hat was given to us and her head got too big for it by the time it got cold out :o(
Charli at 13 months on Christmas day
Charli on Halloween (11 months)
Charli at the mall (12 months).... her momma was trying to get some free Christmas background shots done. She would not cooperate!
Charli at 9 months.... go Steelers.
1st time on a swing.... 8 months
Daddy holding up my fairy princess at 10 months
12 months
**** This post has been edited to resize pictures and add captions for less cumbersome viewing****

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Can't Wait To Be...... Chub Rub Free

Thank you for your wonderful comments on my last post. It really helps to know that I am not alone in feeling this way and to be able to tell someone what I am going through without being embarassed. I agree with thinking that this has to be some sort of Last Supper syndrome. I am feeling a little better today and my pants are buttoned.

I've decided to make a list of what I want the Band to help me accomplish.
  1. Get off of the BP medication
  2. Be chub rub free
  3. Wear a size in the single digits
  4. Not have my butt cheeks bounce around like a sack of kittens when I walk
  5. Not always feel like the biggest girl in the room
  6. Be a hot wife
  7. Be able to run at least 1 mile without feeling like I am about to die
  8. Have my husband be able to pick me up
  9. Get rid of my back fat
  10. Wear a bathing suit with out feeling like I need to also cover up my arms and legs
  11. Not have so many weight related aches and pains (my tailbone hurts from sitting on my ass so much)
I may have more to add to this list at some point, but this is it for now.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Happy Tuesday All! I am back after a long weekend of eating so much my back hurt :o(  I know, I know... it is shameful. I am not sure why I am acting so self-destructive. I am two weeks into waiting for my 6-8 week long approval process for my LapBand and all I want to do is eat and eat some more.
It is very unlike me. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to eat, but I normally don't make such poor choices on the types of food (I've been swimming in a sea of flamin' hot cheetos.) I feel so uncomfortably tight in my clothes right now I cannot button my pants and there is a rubber band holding them together. I really need to shake myself out of this funk.
I met up with some friends for a very late Secret Santa swap and dinner this weekend. I felt like we were the hungry hungry hippos gathered for a reunion. I left feeling very guilty about our gluttonous habits. I don't want to be that or feel like that. Only one of the six of them know about my intentions to get banded and her support is suprisingly lacking considering she is my best friend. She told me that she would rather eat what she wanted than have loose skin....not me! The host of the dinner had gastric bypass maybe 4-5 years ago. He is not out about it, but he told one of our friends who told me. He has since relasped gained everything back. It scares me. My cousin also had gastric bypass out of high school (too young in my opinion) she was easily 350 before surgery and lost nearly 150 before she started to gain it all back. Now I know these are not bandsters, but I still find their trials with WLS bothersome. Why didn't it work for them? I don't want to fail. I held up my jeans last night while folding them. I was amazed at how big they are.
Being fat is cconstantly on my mind. I talked to my husband about it. We try to be very honest with each other about our well-being. I mentioned to him that we were both putting on weight and needed to cut out all the late night eating and stuff. He told me that he doesn't try as hard because I don't...... I was speechless and I wanted to cry, but he was right. I haven't been trying as hard as I could be. I don't want to wait for the Band to solve all of my problems. I've read your blogs, I know it is not a magic bullet and you have to work it. With that being said, I will put down this jar of Nutell@ and stop dipping these delicious honey wheat pretzels into its creamy chocolatey goodness.
Take Care!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentines Day!!!


Good morning and Happy Valentine's day!!!I am in a very good mood today :o) I went to the WLS support group meeting last night and met Robyn..... She is SO SWEET!!!!! I am extremely glad that I went.
There were about 20 people in attendance mostly having had gastric bypass, but there were around 6 bandsters and soon to be bandsters. We got together after the main part of the meeting. Last night's topic was protein sources.
Robyn let me pet her port :o) It was pretty cool. She really is an expert bandster and very open about her experiences. I also met 3 ladies that had been banded in the last 1-5 months. My biggest concern was recovery time. These ladies thought I was off my rocker to think that I could go back to work in 3-4 days. I am starting to think that they may be right. I really appreciate that every one was willing to answer all of my questions.... even the fart ones.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Happy Monday

Happy Monday All! I hope that everyone had a great weekend. I am so excited to see that I have some new followers. Thank you Robyn for sending them my way!

In case you have not heard it from Cat or Robyn, I get to meet them today!!!!!! Robyn, invited me to the clinic's support group this evening and I am positively giddy about it. I must admit that I probably would not have gone had Robyn not personally invited me, but now I can't wait.

I spent a lot of the weekend reading through some of your blogs (my husband feels slightly neglected) and the transformations have been amazing to say the least. Nora I think I'd have a better chance of winning the P0werBall than completing 3 back to back spin classes and Lisa lost dang near 20 pounds in 3 weeks!!!!! Geez Louise Ladies... you are kickin' butt and taking names.

I know that you are probably tired of hearing me say it but, I CANNOT WAIT TO GET BANDED!!! Sorry for yelling. I found my self embracing old habits this weekend :o( I think it may be a last supper thing, but regardless, I need to make some better choices. I don't want to use my before band time stuffing myself. My doctor does not require any pre-op diet, but I really need to reign it in.

I went to LB's and got some new jeans yesterday. I absolutely love to shop, but other than yesterday, I have not bought any new clothes for myself since December. That is pretty fantastic for me. I am a self-diagnosed shopaholic and have decided not to buy any clothes until after surgery (I dont even look at store emails or advertisements anymore.) I really needed the jeans and LB had sent me a $40 gift cheque that expired yesterday, so I had to use it... right? I bought two pairs of jeans (16 and 18) to get me through. The 16s are pretty tight, but I am hoping that after I am banded they will work out. I have a bajillion other pairs in my closet that I cannot pull over my ample butt.....one day my pretties, one day.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Who’s That Girl?

Who’s That Girl?
Here is just a little bit about me… I am a 32 year old happily married and fairly new mother living in Harrisburg, PA. I have struggled with my weight since about 13. Before then, my father’s nickname for me was “Bones” because I was so skinny. Sometimes he still calls me that…grrr. I wish he would call me Reggie like everybody else. I never thought of myself as very big, but as I get older the weight gets harder and harder to ignore and hide.
The last time I lost any serious weight was for my wedding in October 2008. I started out around 235 give or take a few pounds and I was 202 on my wedding day. I worked my butt off to lose that weight in 7 months through WW. I had to lose as much as possible because I bought my too small wedding dress on eB@y. I am a serious bargain shopper and I refused to pay the $1200 for the dress at the bridal shop. I found the exact same dress NWT in a size 14 (regular) on eB@y for $400. Thankfully I had a great seamstress because we had to do some creative maneuvering to get me in that dress. I have posted some of the pics for you to see. She added extra fabric to the corset and skirt (hidden under the bustle made from a veil.) 
I was able to maintain that weight for a while, but I never made below 202. I was riding a very fine line between Plus sizes and Misses. Fast forward to 2010….I got pregnant and weighed around 215 when I peed on the stick. I had my daughter Charli in November 2010 and was laid off in that same month. I gained 40 pounds carrying Charli and after I had her I was able to get down to about 220 doing P9ox with my husband. I like to refer to that as P9oSex because my new found strength and flexibility worked wonders in the bedroom :o). I didn’t do anywhere close to 90 days and my weight slowly crawled back up to 235. I joked that I was a size 16 ½ to my friends and family. In reality, 18s were getting tight.
I began looking into the Lap-Band in secret this past summer. I was very embarrassed to have to consider WLS. I have HBP and have been taking meds for it for almost 8 years. As a matter of fact, I met my husband on the day I was first prescribed the meds. I went to a bar after work with my friends to drink away my sorrows and he was there. Who knew that we would be married today? Anywhoo, back to the Band, I didn’t tell my husband until I was about half way through the nutrition process. He was very skeptical and believed that I could lose the weight on my own because that is how he did it. I explained that I needed the help that the Lap Band could provide and I was afraid of my health becoming an issue. Both sides of my family are fairly unhealthy. My mom recently had to stop working at 52 because of her multiple health problems. He has since warmed up to the idea and swears that when I get skinny all my big girlfriends won’t like me anymore (That is a topic for another post). I just told my mother last week. I have been putting that off because she suffers from depression and bulimia (among other things) and I was afraid it would be too awkward. To my surprise she was very supportive but didn’t think I was “fat enough” to get a Band… thanks mom :o) I have not told my sisters yet. They are just a couple years younger than me, but we have a very weird relationship and I do not consider them to be very supportive. I think I will wait until my surgery is scheduled or completed. That is it for now. Take Care!
Thank you all for your encouragement and your stories. This blog stuff is really great!
I told my husband about my blog last night. He made fun of the title and started singing “I Just Can’t Wait To Be King” from the Lion King except he used the title of my blog. He thinks he is SO funny. I was explaining to him that my blog was supposed to document my journey from flab to fabulous, but he just kept laughing. I guess I walked right into that one.
I cannot wait until my surgery gets scheduled! The 6 months wait time seemed like forever. I thought that by the time it was over I wouldn’t need the surgery anymore because I would be lighter and healthier…WRONG! I didn’t gain any wait, but I barely lost. By the end of the 6 months I had lost a measly 2 pounds. I was very disappointed in myself. I will not make any excuses about it though. The truth is I did not try as hard as I should have. I hope that the Band gives me the extra push I need to be successful in this journey.

Monday, February 6, 2012

The time has come

This is the beginning. I have been blog stalking for a while now and the time has come for me to venture out into the virtual world and leave my mark. I just completed my pre-op insurance requirements for the Lap-Band..... 6 months of nutrition appointments and a psch. evaluation. Guess what...I am not crazy, yet :o) I am trying to patiently wait for my insurance company to give the green light so that my surgery date can be scheduled. Just so you know, patience is not one of my virtues.