Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Happy Tuesday All! I am back after a long weekend of eating so much my back hurt :o(  I know, I know... it is shameful. I am not sure why I am acting so self-destructive. I am two weeks into waiting for my 6-8 week long approval process for my LapBand and all I want to do is eat and eat some more.
It is very unlike me. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to eat, but I normally don't make such poor choices on the types of food (I've been swimming in a sea of flamin' hot cheetos.) I feel so uncomfortably tight in my clothes right now I cannot button my pants and there is a rubber band holding them together. I really need to shake myself out of this funk.
I met up with some friends for a very late Secret Santa swap and dinner this weekend. I felt like we were the hungry hungry hippos gathered for a reunion. I left feeling very guilty about our gluttonous habits. I don't want to be that or feel like that. Only one of the six of them know about my intentions to get banded and her support is suprisingly lacking considering she is my best friend. She told me that she would rather eat what she wanted than have loose skin....not me! The host of the dinner had gastric bypass maybe 4-5 years ago. He is not out about it, but he told one of our friends who told me. He has since relasped gained everything back. It scares me. My cousin also had gastric bypass out of high school (too young in my opinion) she was easily 350 before surgery and lost nearly 150 before she started to gain it all back. Now I know these are not bandsters, but I still find their trials with WLS bothersome. Why didn't it work for them? I don't want to fail. I held up my jeans last night while folding them. I was amazed at how big they are.
Being fat is cconstantly on my mind. I talked to my husband about it. We try to be very honest with each other about our well-being. I mentioned to him that we were both putting on weight and needed to cut out all the late night eating and stuff. He told me that he doesn't try as hard because I don't...... I was speechless and I wanted to cry, but he was right. I haven't been trying as hard as I could be. I don't want to wait for the Band to solve all of my problems. I've read your blogs, I know it is not a magic bullet and you have to work it. With that being said, I will put down this jar of Nutell@ and stop dipping these delicious honey wheat pretzels into its creamy chocolatey goodness.
Take Care!


  1. Such a thought provoking post Reggie, thank you for sharing this with us. Let me tell you a bit about me, I was definitely the biggest of my girlfriends. Even my dear BFF Robyn who you have met and we are going through the process together was quite a bit smaller than me at her heaviest. I knew several people who've had the bypass and gained their weight back, I just truly chalk it up to the habits you develop and the environment in which you immerse yourself. If a person looks at the WLS as an easy fix and that it will make the person skinny with little change on her part, it's not going to work. It will definitely work for a while, but eventually the pouch will stretch back out, or the person will learn that sliders (High calorie, low bulk, low nutrition foods) go right through. They are the tasty chips, cookies, milk shakes etc that we all like wayyy too much and they go down easy (well, maybe not RNY patients, they have dumping syndrome if they eat high sugar or high fat foods) the thing is dear heart, you CAN and will succeed if you look at this band as a permanent tool that will do nothing more or less than help manage how much of the more nutritious food you can eat. YOU have to measure your food. YOU have to make sure not to drink with or immediately after meals. YOU have to decide to start exercising. YOU have to make you a priority and plan and track your meals. It's work, it's not easy and we get flack for having WLS that we aren't strong enough to do it on our own. It IS on our own. The band provides help with portions, but that's it. WE have to do the rest.

    As for eating more than usual...that's called Last Supper Syndrome and every one of us has gone through that. It's not healthful, but it's something each of us has done. Try to keep control of it, especially if you have the pre-op diet to worry about, but don't stress too much if you over indulge on favorite foods. We all did that.

    As for the extra skin comment. Hmmm yeah, I have batwings (under arm flab) that could seriously allow me to fly in the right conditions. I wouldn't trade the loose skin for the extra pounds for the life of me. The extra skin can be tucked in a shaper or covered. The weight takes YEARS off our lives. Don't let negative friends get you down darlin. We're here for you and will always lift you up!

  2. Cat took the words out of my mouth (she does that). You are going through Last Supper Syndrome. Make a decision to get it under control soon. Really, weight you put on now you will only have to work harder to take back off.

    This band is not a mircle worker- you will be. You need to use it to help change your habits. And you will, because you will have us to help you do it. And because you have your husband. Try harder and challenge him to also.

    I have seen many put weigh back on. I have seen maybe people succeed in keeping it off too. The ones that succeed exercise and really try to change their habits- not use it as a temporary thing or diet.

    Reggie, you can do this. You are worth it. You can't imagine how good it will feel when those jeans you have closed with a rubber band this weekend are too big and need to be donated. It will happen!! It is real.

    If you need someone to talk to, I am right across the street!

  3. I went through the same crap girl. You may remember reading it on my blog back in January of last year. I was HOARDING chocolate honey buns for gosh sakes!! LOL Lawd have mercy call me butter cause I was on a ROLL! lol I am dork, I know.

    But for reals, we all go through it. Try not to be so hard on yourself and embrace the crazy!

  4. hang in there!! we all go through tough times...this too, shall pass.....promise. :)

  5. I don't have a whole lot to add to what others have said but I want to add my 2 cents anyway. WLS doesn't work for everyone because a lot of people want to eat how they've always eaten and lose weight. Well..I hate to break to anyone but that just ain't reality. You'll have to change habits and if you're not willing to do that, then nothing is going to help. Period. But you are willing to change your habits. You're taking a hard look at those habits right now and seeing that you don't like them. That's a HUGE step. I think one of the issues with gastric bypass (don't get me wrong...you can eat around the band too) is that people drop the weight regardless of what they eat. They lose the weight FAST and don't experience the same kinds of plateaus that bandsters do. They aren't FORCED to change so they don't (not all...I'm just generalizing). I know you can do this!

  6. P.S. Sorry for the rambling comment...I didn't mean for it to be so long. :)

  7. What a great post I too felt this way many times. If and when you get banded you won't want to indulge like that any more or should I say you won't be able to. From a recovering Pepsi addict who use to eat a family size box of frosted flakes in less than a week once your clothes start getting loose it will all be worth it. I haven't touched either thing since pre- op diet in December and 45 lbs ago. I love this band I feel it every day it reminds me to make good choices 90% of the time!

  8. I just discovered your blog, because you found me and I have to say that rubber band made me love you with all my heart. I thought I was the only person in the world that 'extended' their pants a bit!! Thanks for sharing your story!